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Creativity is born out of discontentment

September 30, 2011 1:36 am ,
seeing light

Why being unhappy, unglued, un-nerved, and bored out of your mind can actually be a FaBuLoUs thing.

None of us would have a reason to do anything new or different with our lives if we were completely comfortable, content, and settled all the time.

Dissatisfaction breads growth.

I am in no way suggesting that it’s easy to be restless. It actually, well, sucks and makes some of us (I’m talking about me) want to punch the world in the face. However, lately I have noticed that my friends, colleagues, blog followers, etc are all in a season of discontentment.

This is what discontentment sounds like: I’m unhappy in my relationship, I’m bored with my job, I don’t know why I’m at the school, I’m tired of this town, why am I even alive?

And since I feel like I am *finally* on the other side of a super discontented time . . . maybe what I’ve had to learn could give a little hope or perspective to one of you.

Here’s what I’ve gathered. . .

1. Discontentment is good!!

Unfortunately, I cannot write a clever post that will explain the reason for each of your struggles.

I can say, however, that there definitely is a reason.

Maybe you feel like your relationship isn’t quenching a need that you feel it should. . . or like your job isn’t supporting your family, contributing to your growth, or serving the world the way you thought it would. . .or maybe you can’t figure out what the purpose of your life is or should be. . . It is so GOOD that you feel this way.

Why is it such a fabulous thing??

Because it makes you move. Discontentment causes you to get out of your relationship or work on it. . . it makes you look for a new job or find a new way to look at your job. . . it makes you question, wonder, cry, scream or pray. . . and then, if you let it, it makes your grow.

2. Ask WHHYYYY????

To figure out what the deal is.

Yes, in every single blog I am asking you to ask yourself why. Well that’s because we can’t grow without asking ourselves hard questions. Sorry, we just can’t. So, I am telling you that you have to evaluate what parts of your life are working for you and what parts aren’t before you can figure out what to do about it. Talk it out, journal it out, pray it out, think it out. . . so you can figure it out. . .

3. Wait and stay open.

Hah! This blog is full of my least favorite things. I am really bad at waiting. Like really really really bad. I honk at stop lights. I act as though less-than-invigorating life events (boring classes, bill paying, paper writing) are causing me to loose pieces of my soul. I am not very patient, at all . . .

But I know this for sure. If you wait, (and trust that there is a reason and that the answers will come) they will.

4. Seize the day.

So you let yourself feel discontent, you asked what was wrong, you waited to figure out what to do, you were open to the answers. . . You have an idea of what might work. . . Now grow a pair and seize the day! You will never know anything 100% for sure, so take a chance and JUMP!

Every circumstance is a little different, but here is a personal example:

I was bored out of my mind. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled or pushed or driven. The discontentment grew and the next think I knew. . . I learned about life-coaching in a class at school. I thought about it for all-of-one-day before I found myself deciding to go home and make a website. I was standing in Walgreens, buying off-brand make up removing cloths after yoga. That wasn’t the most glamorous of moments to decide to change my life, but inspiration finally hit. I got uncomfortable enough for long enough to decide to make a change. There were months of discontentment and searching for an answer. . . I was open and waiting . . . and suddenly I had a wonderful idea. . .

Presenting: Amanda F. McKinney – life coach extraordinaire.

5. And then. . . [you may have to] wait more.

Unfortunately I had keep practicing patience. [How annoying, right?] Making the website and applying for the business license was the easy part. I had to wait to get the word out, wait to find clients, wait for someone to take a chance on me. . . during this time I got to feel even more uncomfortable and embarrassed and like a failure. . .  I also had to continue to work on myself and through these unpleasant feelings while I waited. . . it wasn’t fun. But then finally I got to. . .

***See the Light***

God was faithful . . . I was faithful. . . I didn’t give up. . .  and what I knew in my heart started to come true.

I’m still not exactly walking on sunshine, but I am seeing my hard work pay of and my dreams come true a little more all the time.

I have clients. . . I see growth in myself and in those I work with. . . I feel like I am contributing to people’s lives while they contribute to my growth and goals. . . I feel like I am making the world a better place by being alive, which will always be my ultimate purpose.

I feel so much progress. I am in such a better place. . .  but I am still a little discontent. . . which I am deciding is a wonderful thing because it will just cause me to develop myself, my skills, and my burgeoning business.

I am learning to be satisfied in the midst of the mystery of it all.

This has been one of the hardest years of my life, but it’s the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve had to grow-up, trust my heart, depend on myself, get uncomfortable, and make my life better.

If you are unnerved, bored, discontent, and coming unglued, I understand and I’m truly, deeply, utterly sorry . . . And I am here to help

[[Let me know what you are going through at: amanda.f.mckinney@gmail.com]]

 

It’s your choice to stay miserable, or embrace the journey and do something with your unhappiness.

If you need help, help is out there.

YOU CAN do something with it. You can do do something about it. And you can use it for something that you can be proud of.

All successful people have gone through this: You are not alone.

You have something to give. You can serve the world in a way not quite like anyone else.

Give it all you got.

 

Seeing the light,

Amanda Frances

XO

 

 

Posted in: Life According To Me, Life Lessons, Quarter Life Crisis, Self-Love, Uncategorized , Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Best is Yet to Come

August 22, 2011 3:16 pm ,
orgasm

The Little Things

If you haven’t noticed, I find myself asking, “What does it all mean?” a lot lately. Part of me thinks that there no meaning, and that we have the ability to make life what we want it to be for us. That is an important part. You can miss out on life when you become uber obsessed with what’s right, best, or perfect. A lot of the time you wont feel a magical fate, sense a perfect destiny, or hear a clear voice of God. In those times, you have to make the best decision you can based on the knowledge and wisdom you have.

Then there are those times when everything makes sense and you know there is for sure something bigger that hears you, sees you, and knows you. Like when you say a little prayer that your loaner car will be an off-white convertible with a black top just because that’s what you want and then . . . that’s exactly what you get. Or when you’ve been coveting NARS nail polish in Orgasm (color not sexual experience) and the really fun, gay sales guy at Sephora hands you one for free. Or when you think to yourself, ‘God, I need a massage, “and walk into your gym and it just happens to be Free 15 Minute Massage Day. While these are silly little nothings . . .  they were things that I wanted, that came true, without me saying a word. There are more meaningful signs, of course. . .

But that was just this week.

And for me, it was enough to remind me that there is something bigger, that the Universe hasn’t forgotten about me, that there is a plan, and that maybe, just maybe the parts of my current life that don’t make sense to me now, probably will someday.

Who else would know I wanted an off-white Mini convertible for the weekend or NARS nail color in Orgasm??

Life lesson of today:  You may not see the bigger picture right now, but there is one. You aren’t just a random piece of flesh floating around. He hears us in the big things and the little things.

You are special, important and lovely and there is so much more in store for you. The best is yet to come.

XO,

Amanda

Posted in: Life According To Me, Life Lessons, Quarter Life Crisis, Self-Love, Uncategorized , Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Haters Gonna Hate

August 13, 2011 7:29 pm ,
Fullscreen capture 8132011 75741 PM.bmp

Remember the mean girls from High School?

Remember thinking that you would move on, grow up, and not have to deal with clicks or drama anymore?

News Flash: Mean girls exist at EVERY age.

I was once in a situation where I was thrown into a group of individuals who I was to travel along side. These people really didn’t know me, yet quickly decided that I was too peppy, too easily entertained, too excited, and too loud for their liking. In my short time with them, things I said in jest to friends were overheard and speculated about. Comments I made to people who knew my background were taken out of context. Questions I asked innocently were turned into blond jokes. And in the nature of gossip and assumption, none of it was said to my face.

Enough of that . . . The point is each of us will find ourselves in a situation where someone doesn’t like us and we don’t really know why or what to do about it. Bullies pick on people for being pretty or ugly, quiet or loud. None of us are immune.

And while I chose to move on and enjoy my trip anyway. . . I believe that there are some important lessons to be learned from this experience.

 Here are some tips on what to do when haters hate:

Don’t take it personally.

Usually, what other people do isn’t because of you. It’s because of them. For example, happy people irritate people who are not feeling satisfied. Confident people tend to annoy those who have not discovered who they are or why they are fabulous. I really do not know what was happening on this trip in particular, but it seems that most often, when people are rude, it has nothing to do with you. It stems from what is lacking in them. Like happiness, confidence, or empathy.
When someone makes you an enemy and you have done nothing to merit it, most likely something about you struck a nerve with something in them. And it’s probably something you could not have foreseen and probably do not need change.

Be true to yourself.

Each of us is better at being our true selves than a fake, less interesting, version of anyone else.

Did I decide to be less lively? Less adventurous? Less thrilled to see the world? Absolutely not.

I refused to be less of who I am in an effort to fit in. That being said. . .

Use it to your advantage.

Oprah says that a lesson can be learned from everything that happens to us.

If you haven’t realized: I like me. I love who I am and I love my vibrant personality, but I understand it can be a lot to take in.

I am really loud, very excited, and quite easily entertained. I accidently come off entitled. I think I deserve the best. I worked hard to go on this trip and felt entitled to an enriched, fabulous experience, to confidently wander around foreign countries with fascination, to be wildly excited about everything that felt wildly exciting.

Life-lesson: It can be beneficial to be a little more subtle until people get to know those of us with vibrant personalities. In professional situations especially, this may be very helpful.

In this situation, I was busy learning and having a great time. It didn’t occur to me to impress people with unpleasant expressions stuck on their faces and bad attitudes, but in actuality, I didn’t hate them. I liked them until they started being rude to me, and I realize that someday I cound even find myself in class with or working with these people someday.

Life-lesson: All people matter. Don’t burn bridges.

To confront or not to confront?

Now confronting is always an option.

If this situation is a short term scenario or simply not worth it to you may want to just let it go.

However, if you decide to talk to your mean girl:
1. Be inquisitive
2. Be firm
3. Do it one on one

An inquiry is much less accusatory then a declaration of one’s bitchiness.

Talk to them in a way that shows you are trying to understand what is going on – the goal is not to put them on the defensive. People can be around, but should not be within earshot.

Something along the lines of, “I don’t really understand why you are saying things about me, but it’s rude and it really hurts.”

The question will linger after you are gone.

You want them to realize that there is a person with feelings on the other end of their drama.

Give yourself some credit.

Dear God – if you have to handle mean girls, pat yourself on the back!

It’s no fun!

Don’t lash out or play games. Defend yourself if needed and go on with the enjoyment of your life.

I was immersed in foriegn world in which growing as a person was highly important to me. I was able to learn so much about a different culture and develop my passions. I even made some true, good-hearted friends. I saw more of our beautiful, magnificent world. I treated people well. I had the time of my life and I didn’t let those who were hateful ruin my time.

Sure – I could have done a few things differently, but I got to show my true colors. I’m happy with what I showed. Mean girls don’t get to say that.

You can’t control anyone else. Make the best of everything. Learn and grow. Embrace life.

For me, this is what making-it looks like.

Xo,

Amanda Frances

Life Coach

Posted in: Life According To Me, Life Lessons, Quarter Life Crisis, Self-Love, travel, Uncategorized , Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,