Tag Archives: Limiting Beliefs

Embracing the Fear of Falling …

March 23, 2013 3:18 am , 1 Comment ,

… And Learning to Fly Instead

 
 
  blamoh
 
By Blamoh Twegbe,
contributing blogger
 
 

 “I am ridin’ high, I don’t want to come down, Hope my wings don’t fail me now, and if I can touch the sky, I’d risk to fall just to know how it feels to fly.” — Alicia Keys, via How It Feels to Fly 

 
 

Decide.

Every year on my birthday, as I blow out my candles, I make a wish and I set a goal for myself for the year. I make it something challenging, something I’d NEVER do, or something that SCARES me! Last year, as I turned a fabulous 34 years old, my resolution was to complete a four-week Boot Camp! Since I am not a morning person or extremely fit, I thought this would be the PERFECT challenge to jump-start my workout regimen and allow me to get more disciplined with my fitness goals. Since September of 2011, I’ve lost over 80 pounds & have worked out more consistently than I ever have in my adult life; however, Boot Camp was something I’d never contemplated doing nor had any desire to do. Honestly, I’d witnessed those “fanatics” at 6am jogging around Lake Merritt or running full speed up flights of stairs and had thought that it just wasn’t for me.

My ideas around fitness go way back. When I was in grade school, I was the overweight kid who dreaded P.E. and everything that went along with it: the timed 1-mile run, the obstacle courses, the 200-yard dash, the yearly physical fitness evaluations. Running, to me, equaled torture and conjured up the greatest anxiety and fears I think I’ve ever experienced in my life—more than piano recitals or giving speeches in class! This type of strenuous physical activity scared me TO DEATH.

 

Do it afraid.

With that being said, I decided to challenge this unrealistic fear I had of boot camp-type fitness and JUST DO IT! I mean, what was I REALLY worried about? What did I really have to fear? What’s the worst that could happen? Well, maybe I won’t be able to run the entire time or do as many reps as the chiseled lady on the mat next to mine. Or maybe I’ll set my alarm and push snooze too many times and get to class late and be embarrassed. I decide to instead consider what is the best thing that could happen was. I could prove to myself that I CAN get stronger and push my physical limits! I could totally take a chance at creating the healthy and toned body I want. I could actually SURPRISE myself and run faster & do more crunches, more burpees, or hold a plank longer than I thought I could! I realized that positives of the situation DEFINITELY outweighed the possibilities I was afraid of. I was chose not to let fear hold me back.

 

comfort zone

 

 

Fly.

Three days a week for four weeks, at 6am, I arrived at the gym and pushed my body to the fullest for an hour before cleaning up and going to work. Those days were LONG, I tell you, and I was exhausted by the end of the day, but I was secretly flying. I had made the leap and was attempting something I never thought I could do. Each day after my bootcamp session, I would pray: “Thank you for guiding me on this journey. I am grateful for the change. I am learning. I am growing. I feel FREE. I am STRONG now. “

Showing up for the challenge to love myself in a new and crazy way has changed everything. I’ve learned to embrace my new body! I actually ENJOY working out and look forward to my daily workouts now. Who would have imagined that setting ONE goal & having one WISH could allow me to discover this whole new world of fitness?! I am amazed every day by my discipline and determination to be the best ME I can be. I’m so grateful that I didn’t allow my fear and anxiety from the past and of the unknown prevent me from growing. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts, open your heart, hold on to your faith and take a leap.

 

Soar.

So what if you fall flat? You will recover, rebound & be all the stronger. What matters is that you actually TAKE THE RISK and allow yourself a chance for transformation. Most of the time, taking the “safe route” is the more painful one! Burying your dreams and aspirations in a box and dimming your inner light is the opposite of loving yourself—why wouldn’t you want to love yourself COMPLETELY? As the author and coach Karlyn Percil said, “The more you practice self-love, the closer you will get to your purpose in life.” You can pray, trust, hope, and believe that whatever career you want to pursue, whomever you choose to love, wherever you want to live, whatever goal you wish to attain can BE if you just take a chance, follow your heart, & make the leap.

I mean, why not throw fear out the window & apply for that senior management position—I bet you’ll be thankful you tried – you may even get that promotion! Why not say ‘I love you’ to the one person you’ve been dying to say it to? Or why not really take a chance & tweet your very public crush Cory Booker every hour on the hour until he responds?! What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe he blocks you? OK, that would suck. But what if he ACTUALLY replies back to you? How AWESOME would that be?!!

I’m being silly (but actually, I’m not. I LOVE Cory Booker!), but you get my point. Your desire to break-through MUST be stronger than your fear. Imagine the MAGNIFICENT things that could happen if you took all the energy wrapped up into feeding your fears and redirected that energy into pursuing your heart’s desires? What a GLORIOUS life-shift that would create! You can reclaim your spirit & create your own happiness. When you make courageous decisions, the Universe supports you & MAGICAL things begin to happen in your life.

Karlyn Percil says, “On the other side of fear is freedom. Often the only way from fear
to freedom is an act of sheer courage. Courage is doing the hard thing, WITH fear, and doing it anyway.”

Yet you MUST have the vision in order to create it. Speak your dreams out loud and don’t give up! Imagine what is truly possible—breathe in the possibilities. Persist and push past your comfort zone because when you are comfortable, you are not growing. Learn to embrace the fear: feel it, acknowledge it. Bulldoze through those feelings—a breakthrough is on the other side. Envision the life you want, embrace the dream you desire and make it happen. So you’re fearful—it’s ok! That means that you CARE and it means something to you. TRUST yourself and have the courage to break that barrier? The only way to get through hard things is to go (and GROW) through them. And pushing through fear IS freedom.

Nothing feels better than seeing the fulfillment of all your heart’s desires by creating the life you deserve.
And you deserve so much.

 

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

comfort zone

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We lost ourselves.

July 9, 2012 4:48 am ,

We lost ourselves.

 

We all have fallen for the small, crazy idea that we aren’t good enough on our own.

This idea trips us up very early in life.

At a super young age each of us may feel that we don’t fit into a certain group of people, aren’t the teacher’s/coach’s/parent’s favorite, aren’t the smart/pretty/cool/popular kid, or the opposite/same sex doesn’t like us as much as someone else.

Our fearful mind then freaks out and creates a story that we are lacking.

So we decide that we have to look, act, dress, think and be a certain way to be enough.

 

I call this ego-tripping.

In these moments we judge ourselves and others as not enough.

We don’t accept our innate personality, desires, or dreams as enough.

We make choices that aren’t in line with what we actually believe and feel, but that look the way that someone who is the type of person we think we are should pick.

 

In my ego-trippy moments I’ve heard myself say things along the lines of, “I not really the type of person who would live here/wear that/ eat there” as though certain neighborhoods, t-shirts, and chain restaurants resulted in disease.

Knowing what you like and having standards is great, but when I put these boundaries on myself, I limit myself from all sorts of experiences, base my self-love on things that do not matter, and begin to believe that those with different standards are less than me

And I do this to try make myself feel more adequate.

 

If you are like me, you have fallen for many small, crazy ideas that you and others are not enough many times. And it probably made you feel afraid.

And our fear manifests as anger, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness, judgment, bitchiness, defensiveness, and brings out all insecurities.

 

You are not your bad habits or character flaws. That’s not the real you. Those are the things you learned to do to protect yourself in a world that seemed scary and unaccepting.

 

You are made of love. You learned fear.

 

 

Our goal in this world is to become more of our true selves.

We are unstoppable when we are in our own authentic way of being unapologetically, no regrets, and in our highest self.

 

We were not created to play small to fit a mold, crotch down to fit a box, or shrink into much less than we actually are.

 

We are called to be a change. We are here to make a difference. We were  made to do what we love and love what we do and be in such a state of bliss from living the life of our dreams and coming alive that our own unique energy sparks passion in others.

 

The more I become who I was meant to be the more I find myself doing the things I always loved… they were always me, but at some point I was told those things weren’t acceptable, and I believed it.

As The Course says, we hear a tiny, mad idea and we forget to laugh at it.

And laugh we should because it’s preposterous to believe that I should be anything but me.

Or that you should be anything but you.

 

Xo,

Amanda Frances

ps: the above painting is from Jen Saunders at mysmilingheart.org
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Call Me Cinderella

June 7, 2012 9:27 pm ,

The right pair of shoes may actually be able to change your life.

 

I remember the first time I saw a pair of Christian Louboutins. I also remember the first time I googled them and discovered that they cost, what seemed like, a bajillion dollars-ish. I then put this desire into the “someday” category of my dreams.

Why don’t we believe that the universe and all that is good will conspire with us to find a way to help us fulfill our desires? Why do we think we can’t have what we want?

I think there are three main reason.

 

1. We have created reasons why we can’t have what we desire.

These are called limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs are usually founded in the concept of Not Enough  (not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough) and sound like: “It must be nice to have what she has… I just wasn’t born into a family that can buy me that… I’m not pretty enough for a guy like him… I’ll never be able to get into a school like that… etc”

Limiting beliefs stand in the way of all that we can have, do and be.

So instead of saying “I really love these shoes and have coveted them for 4 years, but I don’t have that kind of money” –  I put ’Nude Hidden Platform Louboutins’ in my journal on the same list as ‘Change the World’ ‘Fall trip to NYC’ and ‘Position at blank counseling center’

It is NOT about having stuff – it is about removing the belief system standing in our way of having what we desire: job, relationship, some sort of opportunity, or even shoes.

 

2. We don’t know what we want.

Sometimes, being a girl, I kind of want everything. So when I decided to I wanted these particular kind of shoes I really had no idea which pair I would get first. There is more than one pair of Nude Hidden Platform Louboutins, apparently. With a bit of online research, however, I was able narrow it down to two pairs. And once I visited a store it was painfully obvious which pair of shoes were the ones for me.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a man, a career, or a shoe – start the process of getting clear about what you want.

 

3. We don’t know how to attract what we want.

Here is the simplest way I can put it: Assume the energy of that which you desire.

Feelings (inspiration, passion, etc) produces energy. When you feel something deeply and strongly and with all you of you, you attract more of that to yourself. What you put out, you get back. Walk around with super low energy, while not believing anything good will happen to you – and that’s exactly what you’ll get.

Assuming the energy of that which you desire means feeling what it would feel like to already have what you want.

What did I want? Cuoio Leather New Delic Christian Louboutins. How would it feel to have them? Effing amazing. I decided to start feeling effing amazing about the shoes I didn’t have yet.

How could I get them? Buying them. How would it feel to buy them? Like someone who had plenty of funds to buy fabulous shoes. So decided to feel like money was no big deal and the effing amazing shoes would soon be mine.

Desiring something, removing your limiting beliefs, and believing you can have it doesn’t mean it’s handed to you. It means you put yourself in a place where you are not being overwhelmed by the idea that you can’t have what you want. 

I wrote it, I imagined it, I felt it, and then I just relaxed. Everything suddenly felt really simple. Over conversation with friends, I realized that if I save x number of dollars a week for just 10 weeks, that I could march my happy ass to the Christian Louboutins Boutique in Highland Park Village and pay in cash. I had been putting money aside for a trip that I realized wasn’t going to happen, so that started my savings. Out-of-no-where a very sweet friend sent me a little bit of money. Then I saved. Way sooner than I expected, I had what I needed to get what I wanted.

And buying them was completely as delicious as I would have imagined.

I have never been this satisfied with a purchase in all my life.

 

So here I am sitting in Highland Park Village wearing my shoes, blogging, having just come from an interview for the internship that I desire.

I love my new shoes. They add height, class, confidence and sass.

They adjust your posture, hug your feet and provide the perfect amount of toe cleavage.

I love the way they look, smell, and feel.

I feel fantastic in them.

 

We all have a fearful, negative, crazy part of ourselves. We all have limiting beliefs that try to tell us that we don’t deserve and will never get what we want.

I regularly ask God (higher being, inner guide, or whatever you call it)  to help me see things differently – to not see things will limitations through the eyes of fear, but see opportunity and good fortune through the eyes of love.

Our fearful minds will always be there, attempting to weight us down, but we have a choice.

Even now, I could probably slip into an ,”I should have spent this money somewhere else. This was not a good decision. I’ll only have one pair ever. My shirt is from Target. I have not made enough month to deserve this. I still want to get a PhD and I’ll be in school for ever. Blah Blah Blah.”

Or I can think, ” I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. Yay! I love love love how this feels. I feel amazing and I expect all kinds of amazing shit ahead of me. Eff yeah.”

 

And as I put out this positive, high-level energy – I know am attracting more awesome-ness to myself.

 

So how can the right pair of shoes change your life?

 

It’s simple: You feel fabulous in them.

And feeling good is part of our life’s work.

 

 

Happy living, shopping, believing, and being.

Xo,

 

Amanda

 

Shoes transform your body and attitude. They transform you physically and emotionally. – Christian Louboutin

For me it is very important to be happy… Designing is a great thing alone, but the great thing about designing is to bring happiness. – Christian Louboutin 

 

bloggers note: looking back and reading this blog, I realize that I should definitely give props to the amazing woman who I learned many of these principles from. Gabrielle Bernstein’s books and group-coaching courses have helped me become action oriented, miracle minded, empowered, and have helped me change my life for real! Check her out here :)

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