I was able to visit Rome the summer after I graduated from college. It was my final stop of my European adventure days before I was to start grad school in Florence. I made my way to the top of the Monumento Nazionale a Vittorio Emanuele II (the Vittoriano) through a bright blue sky after a long day of exploring as far as my feet could take me in every direction.
Looking down at Rome below, I felt so big and so small at the same time. I was big enough to explore the world by myself and small enough to be just a tiny freckle in a white dress standing on a huge building where no one knew my name. There was something very freeing about that last part. No one there knew who I was and no one at home knew where I was. I felt free and empowered and alone, not as in lonely, just solely responsible for myself and my life.
I remember feeling like I could do anything.
A sense of peace swept over me as I realized that if the building blew up under me or if a plane crashed into me or if for some reason the big scary soldier guys guarding the building were to accidentally shoot me (sorry – I know these are unhappy thoughts) that it would be okay to die. I didn’t want to die by any means, but I felt a sense of calm in the light of mortality. I wouldn’t die being bored, stagnant or miserable. I had lived a life that made me feel like I was dying for a time, but right then I knew that I could die living instead of live dying. This was a significant moment in learning to be – be at peace with myself and my life. I was living a life I desired to live – a life I loved. I was following my heart around the world and in the direction of my dreams.
And everything was okay.
I’m not sure what any of this will mean to you . . . but if experience is my teacher, than I know that whatever is on my heart, is what I am to write. It always seems to mean something to someone . . . I like to believe it finds its way to someone who needs it.
Stagnation is never a healthy option. If you’re bored, you are being boring. Set a goal. Go after a dream. Trust your heart. Let your dreams lead the way. You can do it.
As you’ve probably gathered, I like to travel. And by like I mean that I am completely obsessed.
I try to change my wardrobe up on every trip, but a couple of things I NEVER go without such as a shower cap, leggings, double-sided tape and a fedora.
I find it perfect for when I am stepping off a plane, have slept slim to none sleep or need to keep the sweat off my brow, sun out of my eyes, and hair out of my face.
…Venice Beach…
Perfect from beach bike-ride.
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…Mount Carmel, Israel…
I bet you didn’t know I could mountain climb.
…The Dead Sea…
I slid that little hat over my face and took a little nap.
…Frankfort, Germany…
That little bag was all I had for two days and inside were two fedoras.
I felt all-of-the cute despite my sleepless night and airplane hair.
…Gulf of Mexico…
The fedora is perfect since I try to never tan my face.
…New Orleans…
This fedora is perfect for Fall.
Consider wool or hounds-tooth.
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…Nashville…
stopping for brunch on a Maine to Texas Road-Trip
…Tulsa…
Keeping my hair in place while driving my man-friends jeep
{disclaimer: I’m in a super silly mood. . . bear with me}
The City of Love. The City of Lights.
The City of Glitz. The City of Glamour.
I longed and prayed to visit Paris.
I have a list of cities in my wallet at all times that I complied four years ago on the back of a yellow IHOP receipt. On the top of the list I scribbled the words Operation Dream Big.
I’ve been to about five of those listed cities today.
But in May of 2010, I had been to zero of those European destinations.
The first city on the list was Paris.
By the forces of fate, or maybe the travel gods, frequent flyer miles were offered to me by an uncle who could not use them around the time of my college graduation. I wasn’t going to take them as I was certain that flying and traveling to Europe alone was far too dangerous. But as destiny would have it once again, the week after graduation I found myself in three separate conversations with three women I respected who each had traveled alone in Europe in their early 20’s.
This gave me the guts to browse flights.
Flight to London – not enough miles.
Flight to Rome – not enough miles.
Flight to Munich – not enough miles.
Flight to Paris. . . just enough miles.
It seemed like Perfection.
Three weeks later, I was landing in Paris. I immediately found a mirror, sprinkled some make up on my face and dressed myself in a ballerina skirt that I hoped was appropriate to wear to meet the famous La Tour Eiffel for the very first time.
My bags were heavy. My body was tired. (I packed entirely too much stuff.)
But I didn’t care. My Paris dream was coming true and it would be perfect.
But, in all dreams, things are never quite like what you imagine.
Real life is far less sparkly then the movie-like-life I see in my mind.
In real life in rains. And Frenchmen yell at you for sitting at their cafe or getting off at the wrong train stop. (Rude).
And Paris ends up being really dirty.
And the Eiffel Tower ends up being an unflattering brownish color.
And I look back and wonder why I wore a weird short-sleeve taupe jacket with a cute 40’s inspired ruffled top.
But then you remember what an absolutely ball you had sipping espresso with new friends while eating french onion soup (it is definitely the best in France) while watching the starving artist paint in Montmartre.
And remember drinking way too much red wine at a Burlesque Show in the Red Light District.
(Favorite hang-over of my life)
And realize that you got to see the sun set behind the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
And looked around at least a half dozen times and thought “This city is so easy to fall in love with at night.”
And made life-long friends.
And I eventually decide that even when a city, person, experience, school, etc doesn’t quite live up to your exceptions. . . it’s just part of the journey.
There is no such thing as perfection.
I can choose to find the pretty in the ugly, the fun in the weird, the entertainment in the boring. . . but a more honorable task is to choose to accept the ugly, weird, boring as truly intended, valuable parts of life.
Each this-is-not-the-way-I-imagined-it moment is here to teach you something.
Each oh-my-gosh-why-is-this-happening-to-me moment may just be part of the plan. (Isn’t it so much more relieving to assume it’s all part of the plan?!)
The rainy days, rude people and very intense hang-over just ended up being part my real-life-Parisian experience (which started one amazing month of European memories and contributed to a lifelong commitment to seeing the whole wide world).
And to put it lightly, I’d rather an icky-colored Eiffel Tower, than no Eiffel Tower at all.
This is real life. Accept the bad with the good. Embrace it. Laugh at it. Love it. {{ Can you think of a time things didn’t go as planned in your life and your thankful for the way they turned out? Your comments make my day! Leave one below! Xo}}
Your favorite deep-and-ditsy-at-the-same-time girl guru,
I went to Europe for the first time last summer, and quickly fell in love. I tried to travel with a group, but found that I preferred the freedom of traveling alone, quickly moving from city to city yet wandering slowly through each one. When I travel, I don’t think about my emails to check, my errands to run – I am in the present moment. In Europe I learned to roam, without a map, down narrow streets various stones, marbles, and brick while gazing upon the ornate architecture of the classical, renaissance, and baroque periods. When I travel, I move as I wish, I sit as a wish, I stop to write or take pictures only when I feel like it – I am free. My decision making process is nothing more than asking myself if I am really ready to leave or if I would like to stay, and deciding. I trust my intuition – I lead with my heart and I find myself meeting those that I feel I was supposed to meet and discovering places I feel I was supposed to discover.
I trust myself.
And trust me, I work to incorporate these mentalities into my daily life.
However, yesterday I got to rediscover World Traveler Amanda. I found myself on the most perfect short stay in Germany on the way to Israel. I exited the plane, took a train and attempted to wander. My plan to explore, discover and enjoy. However, as I tried to do these things, found it was difficult to sit still, to relax, to get lost in the beauty – I found myself worrying about where I would go next, how long I would stay, and what I would miss if I made the wrong turns.
Thankfully, if you focus only on the good in the present moment, you can ALWAYS relax. As I breathed in the culture, I breathed out my distress. As I looked around, I thought more about what I saw and less about what I needed to see. As I asked locals questions, I cared more experiencing their culture and felt less caught up in the fast paced mentalities of my home. As I moved around, I was only aware what there was to experience right there and less about what I could experience if I went somewhere else. As I sat and ate, I let go of the errands and emails. I decided it was okay if I missed the living social deal or didn’t return those forever 21 shorts in time to get a smaller size. I sipped espresso. I ate gelato. I relaxed. As I moved and sat and slept and prayed, I found myself again – I am just a girl who wants to see the world. And for me, that doesn’t mean show up and take a picture and leave, I have to take it all in. As I came into my back-packing, low-maintenance, traveling self again, I recognized me and quickly I remembered all I had learned the first time I traveled alone so far away.
You don’t have to be in Europe for this to get present and relax.
In the spirit of finding yourself, enjoying your life, and learning as you go. . .
Five lessons I learned in Europe that will bring contentment to your life:
{one} Eat slowly. In Europe, dinner can take up to three hours. You have to ask for your check. You sip wine every meal. You taste every single bite of food. You delight in the food, the scenery, the conversation. Slow down, breathe deeply, relax :).
{two} Enjoy everything. I think sometimes in my busy life, I look around, but I don’t see anything. Here, the culture is one of enjoying yourself. People watching, wine sipping, picnicking, strolling, and doing nothing are all acceptable pass-times. Yes, I said it: it’s okay to do absolutely nothing. In fact I think it’s quite possible to find a great deal of peace when you accept yourself, your worth, and your life while doing absolutely nothing. There is contentment to be found in the space between the busy moments.
{three} The world is good. There is only one language – and it’s not English. While traveling, I am amazed at the kindness of people. The automatic knowing of I-take-a-picture-for-you-you-take-a-picture-for-me custom, of no-I don’t-speak-English-but-that-guy-does assistance, the hey-you-dropped-your-sweater-here-you-go mentality. Every city I’m in, I have a thousand and one experiences with someone without exchanging words. I find myself believing that humans are innately good after all.
{four} Move. Use your legs to get where you need to go as often as you can. Walk across the parking lot instead of drive, walk the block, walk while catching up with a friend, bike to work, etc. It slows you down, helps you relax, and increases your overall health.
((On a side-note: If you walk/bike everywhere, you can live on gelato, pasta, wine, and espresso and not get fat. Okay so I kind of am lying, I also ate some fruit, but I am telling you, I was in Italy a month, I ate tons of the above, I walked every day, I only worked out 3 times the entire month and I LOST 3 Pounds. We can only do so much about our packaged foods and dependency on cars so I’ll just say the principal is: exercise + fresh food = healthy.))
{five} You deserve it. It’s so funny that when I tell Europeans my love and aspirations for traveling the overwhelming reaction is, “Good for you! See the world!!” In America, I regularly get responses along the lines of: “When will you start your career? What about having kids? What about your responsibilities? What is it you do for a living again?” Let’s not let the mentalities of others stop us from doing the things we love. I believe there are plenty of time to add more responsibility to my life, right now I consider it my job to fulfill my dreams 🙂
Love your life. Follow your heart. Dream. (And in my opinion) Travel.
