Hello my gorgeous Spiritual Boss Lady!
A few weeks ago, I was answering questions in one of the private Facebook groups that come with my digital courses.
I noticed a comment from a woman feeling not good enough to do the work that was on her heart to do. She said this: “… And I have a confession; I feel I’m not enough to be a life coach. I feel like such a fraud sometimes because I help people overcome doubt and fear like this. How can I say that I can help them when I’m still going through it??”
I knew exactly what she was talking about. I’ve felt in many times.
So, let’s talk about it:
You may (if not now, sometime soon) find yourself having a moment where you feel like a fake. The whole “who am I to do this?” takes a new fucked up form and you feel like you are literally tricking people when you call yourself a coach, business owner, or success.
It feels like your business is not really real and like you didn’t really create it and that maybe it’s just luck/timing/coincidence that things are going well for you.
This is called Imposture Syndrome. And it’s SO common and normal among entrepreneurs. It happens when you are having a hard time internalizing your accomplishments or new level of business/being.
In the group that day I decided to tell the truth about what sometimes goes on in my head and the crazy things that little negative voice (ego/devil/whatever-you-want-to-call-it) says to me.
The truth is that I feel like a fraud sometimes. I feel like the courses I sell are not good enough. I feel like I am not good enough to teach them. I repeatedly manifest the amount of money I desire to earn and then feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s my job to help women clear up the things that I sometimes struggle with.
The things is that doubts and fears don’t mean I’m unqualified to teach on these things. They are the very reason that I am qualified.
I get the doubts. I know the struggles. I’ve faced the fears. Dealing with the same things you deal with, but being a little more practiced at dealing with them makes me really good at my job. I know how to work on these fears/doubts/struggles. When needed, I work on them every day. I clear the old doubts and keep going. And when the new doubts show up, I work through those and keep going. These crazy ideas that float through my mind don’t stop me.
A lot of the time I am on my game and owning my greatness, but sometimes I feel like what I do is not enough and in the midst of those feelings, I keep going. And tell myself a new story. I stay dedicated to something more real then the insane idea that I am not enough. I know I am here on purpose. I know my work is important. I release the doubt and fear. And I keep going.
And I think we all go through this.
About four years ago, I was enrolled in a group coaching program. One night I heard my teacher say this, “Our ego will always tell us crazy things. You should have heard my ego in the cab on the way over here. It was telling me that I was a fraud and asking who was I to come talk to you while I still have struggles…”
In the midst of this woman having a moment of feeling like a fraud… she was in the middle of saving my life. Her programs are the foundation of everything I do.
I will never forget her saying that.
In the midst of feeling somehow unworthy… I know I am making a significant impact in the lives of others. I am showing up each day and sharing my truth. I am being with others on their journey. I am reflecting back to them that if I could do it, then they can do it to. I am sharing every detail of how I do it and what works and what doesn’t. And that’s the work I am here to do. I get emails and messages every single day from people telling me I am changing their lives. And sometimes I feel like a fraud. And that’s the truth.
I still work on remembering that I am good enough. I know that doubt is a liar. And I keep going.
And here is a whole other level of this Imposture Syndrome issue that happens with Spiritual Business owners: We don’t give ourselves credit for our successes.
And when we do acknowledge how beautiful what we do is, we make excuses about luck and coincidence and timing and being blessed….
We say things like… “I’m just really fortunate, or “I was in the right place at the right time.” And that may be true… but in addition to luck, favor, blessings, good fortune and timing… there is you.
You and your inner strength and courage and wisdom and intuition and intelligence and will and drive. You are a fucking force of nature on the inside. You are powerful and incredible. And infinitely worthy.
And, don’t misunderstand me, I give God a shit ton of credit.
The Universe/God will meet you halfway and do shit for you that you could not have done yourself. Every time.
But we also have to give God something to work with. If you are experiencing success, then you gave it/him/her something to partner with. You did your part.
You showed up.
Here is what I forget: I started my life coaching business on a shitty laptop in a tiny apartment in a neighborhood I was afraid to go to sleep in. Partly nannying. Partly living on student loans.
No investor. No mentor. No team. No direction.
I had no idea how I would do it, but didn’t back down or give up.
I kept going. Every single day. No matter what. I did that.
It’s not just because of our spirituality that our businesses work…
It works because we work it. We work the spiritual principals. We work the practical strategies. We work it.
There is grace and guidance — of course there is — but there is also us showing up every day determined as fuck to do this damn thing.
There is the divine guidance… But divine guidance can’t make you act.
I act. I make moves. I create. I teach. I write. I work.
I do that. Me. Amanda fucking Frances.
I get to work. I face my fears. I work through my limiting beliefs. I make no excuses. I do whatever is required. I work.
I’m very willing to be moved and led. I am very willing to be guided. I am very willing to continually take action on that guidance.
And that part is my free will; God can’t make me do that.
In January my dear friend (who was well aware of my business goals) said to me, “What are you going to do to celebrate your first six figure launch?!” (I create and sell digital courses — and I had a big launch coming up…) I replied, “Omg! I am going to buy a Cartier bracelet.”
And two six-figure digital course launches later, there is no sign of me walking my happy ass up to the Cartier store… One day while in NorthPark Mall in Dallas, Texas (where there is a Cartier store) I stopped to wonder, am I celebrating myself? Am I giving myself proper credit? Do I realize that I do deserve my success? Am I acknowledging my part in the incredible life and business that I have co-created?
I reached my goal… TWICE… in a matter of four months.
It looked impossible…. Both times. But I did it.
I did it… Twice.
Was I realizing how remarkable that was?
I realized that I still had a mental list of things I should do to be worthy of the bracelet.
Fuck. That. Shit.
I marched into that Cartier store and bought that six thousand dollar bracelet with boldness. I asked that they engrave “boss lady” on the inside and argued with the manager to find away to include a dollar sign on my engraving. (See what it looks like in the video below.)
I recorded today’s vlog (below) when the bracelet/symbol of my growth came in the mail. I danced and cried and screamed. I felt my success.
You can watch me open it and freak out in the video below
It is a symbol of my success and a reminder of my growth. A reminder of my courage. It represents how far I’ve come… and how far I plan to go. A reminder that there is work to do, but I can do it. I didn’t know how I was going to get here — and I did. And I don’t know how I will get there — but I will.
When I hear myself and other successful women downplay the work we have done, it makes me really sad.
I know how it feels. I know you are thinking of everything you could be doing better and what work is left to do and how far you have to go.
Right now you are probably thinking about how this blog doesn’t apply to you because you aren’t successful enough… yet. Yes, you. I’m talking to you.
You must allow yourself to integrate the fact that you are good enough and worthy of your successes into your understanding.
You have to tell yourself the truth about how awesome you actually are. And what a difference you are making and how badly the world needs your incredible gifts.
Your ego will act crazy, but slowly your brain will catch up to understanding how great you are.
Give yourself credit for what you are doing right and take a moment to notice the growth (no matter how small) in your life and business.
I beg you to make this a habit now. At the end of today’s video I encourage you to make your successes real to you. Celebrate. Feel it. Know that you did it. Watch today’s video (make sure you watch until the end) and let me know how you are going to implement this in your life in the comments below!
What are your current goals? What are you going to do for yourself to mark these milestones as your grow? Let me know in the comments below the blog.
PS: I’d love to have more of you in my world. Here is how to connect online: YouTube: Watch, Instagram: Love, Facebook: Stalk, Free Online Community: Please Join, SnapChat (Real Life in Real Time): @xoamandafrances
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