The Best Year Yet, Lesson One: Facebook is Fake

Facebook = Fakebook



I’m working on several blogs designed to inspire you to create the Best Year Yet for your life. As I’ve been writing them I’ve realized they all come down to one theme: false notions we have in our mind. It seems to me that a lot of the worry, anxiety, and fear we experience originates not as much from the things that hurt us, but from the way we perceive them. Getting worked up over something that is not real completely sucks.


On that note, let’s talk about social media.


Now, I have nothing against social media. In fact, I love it! I’m on four-ish social media sites and post on most of them daily. I’m not quite a social media whore, but on the right day, the term could be fitting.

I am guilty of sometimes paparazzi-ing my life as though I work for Us Weekly. In some ways my blog is really just an extension of what I have seen work for myself and others on Facebook.

And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.


In business, it can be a quick, easy, and completely free way to create a brand, develop an image, and get yourself out there. In personal life, it’s a fun way to stay connected and share your experiences with the world.


The problem lies when we compare our lives to what we see online, believing it’s real.

Recently, I’ve met a lot of people who drive themselves crazy looking at other’s accounts, pages, and profiles. Some people work quite hard to make their lives seem perfect on Facebook. Most of us post only the good parts, and no life is flawless.


For example, I drove a beat-up hunk-of-mess of a car for like 5 years of my life. Did I post pictures of the Montero Sport that had been in 500,000 wrecks that I couldn’t afford to repair online!? NO! Did I park around the corner and not use valet for like two years? Yes! Did I post a picture of me and my brand new Mini Cooper the day I signed the papers and drove it home. ABSOLUTELY! I wasn’t being disingenuous, I was just super excited to get rid of the clunker and have a new ride!


The thing is what you see online is, at best, a fragment of a life that contains ten million pieces. And, at worst, a life that someone is trying make seem better online based on their own insecurities. Neither are real. It’s like believing Us Weekly, People, and E! really know what Khloe Kardashian is thinking. It’s entertaining to hear them speculate, but they don’t know.


To use social media to the fullest and keep it all in perspective, let’s keep a couple of things in mind.


{one} It’s not legit.

If  via Facebook it seems like amazing things are happening to everyone, be happy for them and move on.  Do not let it rain out your doing-the-best-you-can-making-it-one-day-at-a-time parade. You are okay and you are on your way. Keep having your damn parade.


{two) You can work it.

You can totally use it to your advantage. Employers, schools, etc check your profiles to learn more about you. They want to see what you post to guarantee you won’t give them a bad image once you are associated with them. Make this work for you.


{three} It’s über public.

You are sharing your post with the world – some details need not be revealed. This includes bodily functions, arguments with friends,  baby-mama drama, etc.



{four} Keep it positive.

You can be genuine without disclosing everything. There is nothing wrong with mentioning that you need prayer, support, etc. . . it’s quite another to vent about every negative thing that has ever happened to you in detail. Some things should be discussed in therapy, coaching,  or with friends.



{five} Avoid the trap.

This one is VERY important. Do not get so caught up in the social media world that the next thing you know you are more concerned with how your life looks through Facebook than how your life actually is. A night out having fun is way more beneficial than a boring night sucking but looking fun via mobile uploads.



Use it for fun and to your advantage!



Love you all!!



Amanda Frances


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