“Weight measures your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It does not give you an overall picture of muscle mass, body fat, inches lost, etc. It especially can not measure your worth, beauty or health. Keep in mind that weight is just a number.” – Amanda Frances
“Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life… Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” – Steve Maraboli
“The human body is the best work of art.” – Jess C. Scott
“Your problem is you’re … too busy holding onto your unworthiness.” - Ram Dass
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
I am enough because I am.
I am beautiful. I am strong. I am woman.
I embrace my uniqueness. I do not try to squish myself into a mold. I love me the way I am.
My palms are a bit sweaty just thinking about writing this to you. As much as I talk about loving my body and loving myself no matter what the size announcing to the world what my size actually is, feels horrifying. It’s a strange thing though because anyone that has met me clearly can see my body – so why am I so afraid to just say what size it is?
Here’s the thing – I have this belief that in order to be a good health coach I need to be a size 2. I’m finally admitting to myself that being a size 2 will never be in my future. I’ve never been a size 2 – never. I’m not sure it’s physically possible.
I’ve realized that I am so much happier at the size I am now – a size 10 – then I’ve ever been at an 8 or my thinnest at a size 6. Why? Because every time I’ve been a size 8 or size 6 I’ve starved myself or have otherwise been very unhealthy about getting there. I’ve also been obsessed about being “there” (a certain size) than actually enjoying my life.
Being comfortable in my skin, eating out with friends and family on special occasions, having a happy and meaningful life means so much more to me than my pant size.
I have let the fact that I am a size 10 health coach hold me back. This fear has actually stopped me from taking action on something I am extremely passionate about.
I’m thankful for this. It has driven me to learn as much as I can about excess weight, weight loss and emotional eating. I’ve learned that excess weight has nothing to do with calories in, calories out. I’ve learned so much about the divine feminine as a way to weight loss. I’ve learned about having a pleasurable life as being the only kind to live. Without what I viewed as being a weight problem, I would never have come to learn or explore these things. I might have spent the rest of my life much like I’ve spent it for the last 15 years or so – criticizing my body, judging it, feeling like it’s wrong, obsessing about being a different size, wishing my body was different and hating that it wasn’t. The anger and disgust I have felt towards the size and shape of my body makes me oh so sad. We women and now men feel like we have to be a certain size to feel any sense of loving kindness and self worth.
I think about all of the nasty feelings and thoughts I’ve had towards my body and I think about my daughter. How awful I would feel if she grew up with those same feelings and thoughts towards what I view as the most precious and perfect being on this earth. And what if she’s a size 10 or 12 or 20, would I love her any less? Hell no! Why do we then love ourselves any less because of our size?
And would I expect her to not pursue her dreams or to play small until she was a smaller size? That would be ridiculous.
Let’s stop doing this to ourselves. Next time you think you need to be a different size, next time you criticize your body, next time you berate yourself for being a certain shape think about a young girl. What would you say to her? Then say that to yourself.
I know sometimes we have to mourn a little when we realize we might never look like the airbrushed model in the magazine. I know I had to. I still have to once and awhile. It has been so ingrained in me (and I’m guessing you too) to try to look like that. It’s sad to think of how many hours, days, weeks, months have been wasted. All of that wasted energy trying to be something I’m not. When in reality I know I’m beautiful just the shape and size that I am. I also know that I’m beautiful regardless of my physical form. I just had to uncover (and sometimes rediscover) that deep love that has been there all along.
I want you to have that too.
I want you to know that you’re beautiful no matter what shape or size you are. I want you to know that you don’t have to hide behind your weight or your body. I want you to know that the image you think you need to look like, isn’t real. The person in the mirror here and now – that is real. And she needs to be loved. She’s begging for you to love her, just the way she is.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Ashley Donovan is Confidence Coach focused on getting you un-stuck so that you can be the person you know you’re meant to be. Ashley received her bachelor’s degree in Psychology and then went on to become a Certified Health Coach from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She is certified with the American Association of Drugless Practitioners and is a trained Doula. Her work includes anything from eating the foods you know you should so you can lose that extra weight, quitting the job you know you should so you can follow your passion or getting out of a relationship you know you shouldn’t be in so you can make room for prince (or princess) charming.