If you follow my personal FB page you may have seen this little moment of truth status update from me this weekend: “You can find me at the intersection of hot mess and bad ass.”
Present state: Hot Mess.
I don’t pretend to have it all together. Because I don’t.
At least once a day this past week I was like, “Holy Fuck! WTF am I doing with my life?!”
Here’s why: Sometimes it seems like the events of life are happening in a completely meaningless and random order. Sometimes it seems like life brings you some weird shit. Sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it. Or know how/why you attracted it. Or know what to do with it.
It can all feel so discouraging and frustrating. It can piss you the fuck off.
And you know it’s okay, but in the midst of a potential-life-crisis, it doesn’t feel okay.
It feels like a hot fucking mess.
And sometimes you don’t allow yourself to process it or feel it or embrace it as it comes.
Then you may find yourself feeling anxious that you feel anxious or stressed about being stressed or sad that you feel sad. The emotions can layer up. You resist the experience of having the experience you are having until it feels so intense that you can’t stand to be with ourselves.
And then we feel… stuck.
We judge ourselves, we avoid our feelings (maybe choosing to numb out in one way or another), and we criticize every aspect of what we are going through… and we don’t allow ourselves to move the experience gracefully, taking on only one step at a time.
It happens to all of us.
There isn’t anyone on the planet who is completely avoiding the hot mess state of mind all of the time.
I created a multiple six figure business and tremendous freedom and location independence… And I still sometimes feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with my life or business.
Every successful person I know from time to time, accidentally chooses the hot mess state of mind.
For me, the secret is this: We must choose not to stay stuck in our confusion. We must choose to observe the experience, accept it for what it is and come back home to our truth and confidence. We must choose to move through.
That’s how today’s vlog came about.
I was feeling rather hot-mess-ish. And I was sick of it. I was ready to move the eff on and move through it.
I was walking down the beach in East Hampton praying.
The ocean was gorgeous. The sun was setting. I was ready to move through.
I followed my steps (below) for releasing and was led to lead a meditation for my homies on periscope!
As I recorded the meditation and shared my truth with those it might help, things changed for me.
I shifted. I saw things differently. I felt better.
Try this next time you feel stuck:
- Embrace it.
Accept your experience as FINE. Release the judgement of being where you are at. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
- Feel it.
Feel your feelings. Experience the feelings and the fear for a few moments. Look at it. “I am afraid of ____. ____ makes me worry that _____ might happen.”
- Move the eff on.
For me, I start by asking for guidance.“God, I am willing to see this differently, help me to move through this.” When I do this I am always led to exactly what I need. Sometimes I am led to journal or pay or call a friend or go to the gym or meditate. Sometimes I veg out. Sometimes I am led to help someone else out.
I encourage you to allow yourself to feel your feelings and embrace your hot mess experience, knowing you will be led back to peace.
Say it with me: I choose to come back to my truth. I choose to be a bad ass boss lady. I choose to know my peace.
Say it with me: It’s not meaningless. It’s not random. It is all being used for my highest effing good. It is all on purpose. It is all getting me to where I am going. It is perfect the way it is. And it will make complete sense looking back.
When you find yourself at the intersection of hot mess and bad ass on the hot mess side of the street, take a moment to be exactly where you are at. Non-judgmentally notice what it’s like to be in this experience. Embrace it. Do some cartwheels in the street. Take a deep breath and take a turn back toward bad ass.
What do you think? How to do you deal with the hot mess state of mind?
Share your thoughts in the comments below or come see me in the Spiritual Bad Ass Boss Ladies group <– always a safe place to be yourself — hot mess and all.