What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do Next


Coffee shop – 2 am – studying – having a mini-quarter life crisis.

This isn’t like the full-on quarter-life-crisis of 2008 in which I rearranged my entire life and moved across the country to pursue my education (best decision of my life). This is just a baby-sized-mini-crisis. Part of what I want to do with my life isn’t fitting with what I am learning in school and it’s making my life-plan feel out of whack.

And after writing a 10 page paper, working all day, working with a client, and going to a 5 hour class yesterday, I found myself asking the classic existential question of: “What does it all mean?”

Sometimes, we must soul-search, explore, analyze, and discover. We have to redefine, reinvent, and reevaluate what we want and find what life means FOR US. That’s what my education and business are all about – helping you accomplish the things you want for your life. I believe it is possible for you to create a life you will love.

Since I could not answer all the mysteries of the universe over one chai latte that night, I decided to take some time to myself. This may have included: 1 trip to red-box (Sex and the City 2), 1 ginormous salad, and 1 one deep conditioning treatment made from anything in my pantry that seemed remotely conditioning-like such as avocados and olive oil  (ps: my hair feels great today.)

Life is infinitely confusing at times, kids, but here is what I know: Complicated times move us further along on our path. They teach us who we are. They force us to make hard decisions concerning what we want out of life. They make us learn to function more productively world and with the people in it. In my experience, when things fall apart, they fall back together better. I don’t have the answer to my question this very moment. But I know that I will.

Life is worth-living – Dreams are worth following – People are worth loving – and life is still fabulous.

Here are 5 things I try to do when I don’t know what to do next:

{One} Get Honest – Be willing to tell yourself the truth. Is what you’re doing what you really want to do? Is the area you are putting your efforts impacting what is most important to you? When you look back, will you be proud of who you are right now? I know I just got deep – but we can’t get anywhere if we can’t be honest with ourselves. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” “What do I really love to do?” “What will move me in the direction I want to go?” etc. DON’T FILTER.

{Two} Vent – Either with a friend or two a trusty note-book.  Sometimes you don’t even know what it is that you are feeling until it shows up on paper or you hear it come out of your mouth.

{Three} ENJOY! This will be on every how-to list I ever write. We must do things we love every day. Life is too short to not incorporate joy into every single day.

{Four} Give It Time and Don’t Over-Analyze! The answers will come to you. I have gone as far as to give myself a certain amount of time that I am not allowed to analyze the problem. It’s amazing how much perspective you have when you have given yourself a little TIME.

{Five} Relax and Take Care of Yourself – I think the avocado-olive-oil-hair-care example above explains it all. You will figure it out. If you search, you find – you can relax. And not to go parental on you, but exercise, sleep, and healthy eating improve brain function. You are going to need your brain to work fully to figure out your life-crisis

Once you figure out what you will do about your mini-crisis MAKE A PLAN! Spontaneous moments are tons of fun, but as my dad always said, “If you don’t have a plan, you might not like how things turn out.” Try this for long term goals: Write down where it is you want to be in x amount of time and make steps going back-wards. Assign deadlines to the steps and move forward. For daily goals, write down what it is that you hope to incorporate into your life, read each day, view and alter it as needed. Remember, you can do it! And remember, nothing is impossible, so dream as big as your imagination will allow you.

Live a life you love. 


Amanda Frances