Why I Travel Alone... - amanda frances | thought leader + best selling author + money queen

Twenty-ish people have asked me every day since I returned, if I went to San Francisco alone. When I say yes, people look really shocked/confused sort of like. something must be wrong with me and definitely like I could have died on such an trip. They then ask, “WHY?!”

This is my answer in blog-form :)

I often say in my blogs and to my coaching clients that one of the most important steps to getting what you want in life, is being super clear on what you want. This step has served me numerous times in my personal and professional life as I endeavor to create the life of my dreams.

However, once you are clear on what you want, there is another crucial step: you have to show up for the life you want – like every day. That means making a daily commitment to the decisions that will ultimately serve you and get you to where you are going.

The obstacles that come up in our lives are simply assignments. Having obstacles is not a sign that you are doing something wrong. They show up to teach us, test us, and help us get to where we are going. The emotions, thoughts, and actions that arise in us in response to our obstacles often let us know where we have work to do. As the New Year has rolled around and I’m endeavoring (as always) to create my best year yet, I’ve noticed that my daily showing up is not always easy. Certain crazy-town thoughts can get in my way.

Showing up for yourself (or rising to the occasion) can mean a lot of different things. It sometimes means saying yes to the thing you aren’t sure you know how to do. It means being willing to be in temporary discomfort or uncertainty while you put yourself out there. It means continually stepping up your game. It means not giving up when you aren’t sure you see your progress. It means looking your fear in the face and telling it to eff off. It means taking good enough care of your body that you feel well enough to do the things you are called to do. It means making the hard decision when doubt is screaming in your face. It means being honest about the kind of life you want and then creating that life.

Right now, showing up for yourself could mean…

Going on the date. Booking the flight. Signing the lease. Quitting the job. Breaking up with the douche. (Even if it means having to divide up the furniture and/or friends. Even if it means you have to be alone for a while.)

Or (if you’re like me) showing up for the life you want could mean staying in the relationship and continuing to be vulnerable, open, caring, and committed even though it freaks you the eff out most days.

These decisions are hard. But you have to go with your gut. You have to go with your best guess. Fear will ALWAYS be trying to talk you out of the scary (yet progressive and awesome) thing to do. Fear will always try to get you to play safe, be small, shrink back, fit in a box, conform to the mold, be quiet, and blend in. Fear will always tell you that you aren’t good enough, don’t have what it takes, and are going to fail. Fear will always try to convince you that people are going to laugh at you, talk bad about you, and all around shit on your big dream as you set out to do it. (So what if they do – you are the one living the big dream while they safely watch you via Instagram from their living room. Or – even better – maybe they won’t laugh… maybe they’ll feel inspired and create a better life for themselves too.)

The fearful part of your mind (the devil, the ego, or whatever you want to call it) will always attempt to drown out the guidance of your ultra loving, powerful, beautiful inner voice. The fearful part of our selves is there. We all experience it. But we can learn to ignore it. We can choose to say, “Hi fear. I see you there and I’m going to go ahead and choose love, and choose an awesome life and live big anyway.” (Like, literally I have said that out loud… alone… more than once.)

And although the fearful voice can be super loud and annoying, the gentle, loving voice is a million times more powerful. And, I believe, heaven and earth will realign to support you when you take the steps toward following the loving (Godly) voice. The voice that says, “Relax and trust,” “I have your back,” “you’re on your way,” “take the risk,” “you can do it,” “you are okay,” “go for it,” “you are well on your way,” “I love you,” “it’s not too late,” “do it now.”

Trust the guidance. Trust your gut.

Book the flight. Take the trip. Put in your notice. Call the guy. Say, “I’m sorry.”

Follow your heart.

So… back to my trip about San Fran. I saw randomly that the flights to San Fran had dropped on a Tuesday (I get email notifications to my favorite cities). I asked some friends what they were up to that weekend and if they wanted to come with me on Wednesday — everyone was out. On Thursday I googled all the things I could do alone in San Fran including rooftop yoga, staying near the beach, renting a bike, exploring the east bay, getting a blow out, etc). On Friday I booked the flight and places to stay. On Saturday I left my home in Dallas and got on the plane for SFO. And — SUPER IMPORTANT TO NOTE — up until the moment I was in the air, I had intermittent moments of plaguing myself with one hundred and one reasons why I “shouldn’t” go on the trip (I was clearly already going on) including homework, a baby shower, and a suddenly seemingly urgent need to order things/schedule things/clean things/do things.

I thought about every bad thing someone could think about it, every bad thing that could come from it, and all sorts of ego-trippy, negative things.

Until finally, somewhere over New Mexico, I just reminded myself that I love me. And loving myself a lot means knowing that when an doable trip to an awesome city falls in my lap that it will ultimately be something I will learn and grow from. Loving myself means being clear that the life that I truly desire includes a ton of spontaneity and seeing the whole world. Loving me means honoring all the parts of myself, including my crazy adventurous spirit. ((The truth is that there is something ultimately, indescribably, deeply thrilling to me about being alone and unknown in an unfamiliar city — I endeavor to embrace and cultivate that part of myself — even if it’s a little scary.)) Going on this trip alone was just one little right action of showing up for myself.

Part of being true to myself and to the life I want, means showing up for myself and my dreams. Last month my commitment to my dreams happened to include going on a vacay alone to San Francisco on the spur of the moment. This month… it could mean just about anything.

Get clear on what you want. Show up daily for your heart’s desires. I believe fulfilling the desires of your heart is why you were placed on this earth at this time. Sharing your gifts and the things you love with the world, makes the world a better place.

Pictures from my trip:

Saturday

Before I could even leave the airport… I had to stop at yoga room IN the airport!
#lifechanging

Next stop: Mission Dolores Park — amazing for people watching, the view, the Full-House houses, a quick chai latte and, supposedly the best ice cream in the city.

Next: I obviously felt it necessary to start my trip with a blow-out! :)

Dinner near the bay bridge. Fun story: I over heard the man sitting next to me at the restaurant bar talking to the bartender. I leaned over and said, “you should have been a therapist!” to which he replied, “I am!” This man ended up being a Freudian psychotherapist who has been practicing for like 50 years! Oh the stories he had. Love.

Sunday

Night one: As San Fran was having an abnormally sunny, warm, and clear weekend, I decided to stay near the beach the first night. I stayed at the cutest little zenned out house owned by a yoga instructor and friends. When I woke up, this was my view :) #nofilter

THE OCEAN!! My heart was made to live near the ocean. I just know it.

ROOF TOP YOGA! Every Sunday Morning at Lombardi Sports! #mustdo

Upgraded! I decided to stay the next night off of Union Square. I simply asked to be upgraded and this is the view I ended up with :)

YAY! So so fortunate to be able to spend time with this gem of a woman while in town! You may recognize Blamoh as my contributing blogger! You can (and probably should) read her blogs here and here!

New Shoes! When I realized I was in town at the same time as a big 49ers game, I attempted to coordinate with the city/team. Don’t laugh, but my favorite part of sporting events is everyone matching. #girlygirlprobs

Monday

What a view! I woke up, meditated in front of this amazing view, and hit the city for my last day of exploring!

Green Juice. I had been looking for the other Living Greens location all weekend and google maps was totally tripping over it. I was so excited when I accidentally drove past the downtown location. Yay!

The East Bay. Berkeley, I love you. #elmwood #nofilter

The Beach! Afternoon biking through Golden Gate park and on the beach!

The Beach Chalet. A cute moment near the ocean for drinks and snacks.

SURPRISE! I had gone almost the entire trip without seeing the Golden Gate, when suddenly, as I was attempting to drive through pretty neighborhoods before heading to the airport, THERE IT WAS!