We lost ourselves.

We lost ourselves.

 

We all have fallen for the small, crazy idea that we aren’t good enough on our own.

This idea trips us up very early in life.

At a super young age each of us may feel that we don’t fit into a certain group of people, aren’t the teacher’s/coach’s/parent’s favorite, aren’t the smart/pretty/cool/popular kid, or the opposite/same sex doesn’t like us as much as someone else.

Our fearful mind then freaks out and creates a story that we are lacking.

So we decide that we have to look, act, dress, think and be a certain way to be enough.

 

I call this ego-tripping.

In these moments we judge ourselves and others as not enough.

We don’t accept our innate personality, desires, or dreams as enough.

We make choices that aren’t in line with what we actually believe and feel, but that look the way that someone who is the type of person we think we are should pick.

 

In my ego-trippy moments I’ve heard myself say things along the lines of, “I not really the type of person who would live here/wear that/ eat there” as though certain neighborhoods, t-shirts, and chain restaurants resulted in disease.

Knowing what you like and having standards is great, but when I put these boundaries on myself, I limit myself from all sorts of experiences, base my self-love on things that do not matter, and begin to believe that those with different standards are less than me

And I do this to try make myself feel more adequate.

 

If you are like me, you have fallen for many small, crazy ideas that you and others are not enough many times. And it probably made you feel afraid.

And our fear manifests as anger, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness, judgment, bitchiness, defensiveness, and brings out all insecurities.

 

You are not your bad habits or character flaws. That’s not the real you. Those are the things you learned to do to protect yourself in a world that seemed scary and unaccepting.

 

You are made of love. You learned fear.

 

 

Our goal in this world is to become more of our true selves.

We are unstoppable when we are in our own authentic way of being unapologetically, no regrets, and in our highest self.

 

We were not created to play small to fit a mold, crotch down to fit a box, or shrink into much less than we actually are.

 

We are called to be a change. We are here to make a difference. We were  made to do what we love and love what we do and be in such a state of bliss from living the life of our dreams and coming alive that our own unique energy sparks passion in others.

 

The more I become who I was meant to be the more I find myself doing the things I always loved… they were always me, but at some point I was told those things weren’t acceptable, and I believed it.

As The Course says, we hear a tiny, mad idea and we forget to laugh at it.

And laugh we should because it’s preposterous to believe that I should be anything but me.

Or that you should be anything but you.

 

Xo,

Amanda Frances

ps: the above painting is from Jen Saunders at mysmilingheart.org