7 steps to a fabulous valentines day: single or taken

Valentine’s day IS NOT International Hate Your Life If You Are Single Day.

It is also not Expect Your Partner To Do All the Right Things/Buy All the Right Presents/Take You to the Right Restaurant To Make You Happy Day.

No. No. No.

Whether single or attached, I’m declaring Valentine’s Day LOVE YOURSELF DAY!

If you’ve been following me long, you are 100% aware of the fact that I am a self-love junkie.

Self-Love is my jam. 

I believe, whole-heartedly that we can not take care of anyone else if you do not take care of ourselves. I try to practice self-love in small ways every day. Sometimes it’s super simple for me. I know that if I keep the dishes done and pick up my clothes that I will feel more comfortable and relaxed in my home. Some of my self-love is in the form of daily practices; eating healthy food, being obsessed with green tea and green juice, taking the time to meditate/breathe, and going to the gym/yoga makes me really happy. It keeps me in a good place. It helps me to be available for my friends, family and clients. Sometimes my acts of self-love are straight pampering. These days (ie yesterday) I am drinking red wine midday at the nail salon and getting a blowout before I feel ready to rejoin society as my best self. {{NOTE: The big pampering days don’t do you any good if you don’t get your MIND in a good place. If you are thinking about everything that sucks and how you hate your life, you don’t actually leave with anything other than pretty nails.}}

WAY before I started #SelfLoveSat/#SelfLoveSaturday with my dear friend, Paige Sauer, I started declaring Valentine’s Day INTERNATIONAL LOVE YOURSELF day each year! To read that original post on the blog, click here.




So, my dear friends, let’s LOVE ourselves today!

If you are single: I know that it is not super fun to see all your co-workers get flowers and talk about the surprise date their hunky hunky boyfriend has planned, but your are too fabulous to pout and sulk, my love. Comparing just makes you feel like crap. ((Comparison is based on the idea that some people are better or worse than others. It implies that we are somehow separate — when we are all one.)) You may be single. And this is not an incurable disease. In my opinion, it can totally be fabulous thing.

If you are attached: You still deserve a TON of self-love. You boyfriend/partner/spouse may or may not plan the kind of date, send the flowers, or buy the presents you want. Either way, it will make your relationship 100% better when you get on the self-love train. When you are not expecting a partner to fill you up and meet all your needs, everyone is happier. Happy relationships are made from two full people who have a lot to give to each other, not two drained people sucking each other dry.

So, yes, I am in a super happy relationship with a guy that adds so much to my life; I’m way fortunate. But I wouldn’t be here without my single years. I don’t take back a second of it. I learned way too much for regret or any of that nonsense. Furthermore, he and I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t fabulous at self-love. There were definitely times in our relationship years and years ago where we were tormenting each other trying to get each other to meet the needs that we needed to learn how to meet ourselves.

I feel like right now half of you are probably posting pics of flowers on Facebook and the other half are thinking about deleting Facebook because you are so over seeing the damn pictures.

So, in honor of all of us, I am giving you a list of things that you must certainly do for yourself today to add lots of love to your life whether you are single or in a relationship.

{One}  Let’s start the day with gratitude and self-love. As a life-coach and therapist, I reserve the right to ask others to do emotionally stretching activities at any time. Get out a piece of paper and write down everything you like about yourself. Then write down everything you like about your life. Then write down anything else that you are thankful for that comes to mind. When you are finished, go through the items and notice how each of these things causes you to feel. Feel that feeling for a moment. Feel amazing yet? :)

{Two} Nourish! Make a healthy breakfast or stop by your favorite coffee shop, juice bar, or cafe. If me, I’d festively make myself a pink juice. If you go out, treat yourself to something you love. Let yourself feel thankful. Smile. Taking care of yourself feels good.

{Three} Keep the happy vibes going! Make a play list of your all time favorite songs. For me, this would be some Don’t Stop Believing type stuff. If you want to listen to my self-love playlists, search for me on Spotify (Amanda Frances McKinney). And I’m going to have to ask you to dis-include anything that makes you think of your ex, makes you feel sad, or puts you in a funky place. ((However, if any sadness or old memories do come up, it’s important to work through. Honor your feelings as valid — feel them, accept them, take a breath, and release. Remember you are right where you are supposed to be.))

{Four} Buy yourself a love present or do something nice for yourself. Pick up flowers. Have a massage at lunch. Mani-pedi with a girlfriend. Do something that you wouldn’t normally do for yourself midday on a Friday.

{Five} Is it 5 o’clock yet? Fabulous. Meet up with your favorite girlfriend, gay best friend, or mom and enjoy your life. Go to happy hour (haha – my mom would totally meet me for happy hour), see a matinée, have a picnic, go to yoga (more on that below), or some other cute and fun activity.

{Six} MOVE YOUR BODY! Go to yoga, run your fave trail/park, or visit a new workout class! Endorphins make you happy! However, if it looks more like self-love for you to give yourself the day off then by all means, do it!

{Seven} You could finish off the day with a Single Ladies Party with close friends, go to dinner with your Man-Friend, or maybe just stay home to make/order in delicious food. You could journal, take a bubble bath, phone a friend, or watch your favorite movie. It’s up to you, but I suggest you do something that makes you feel very special and very loved.


No matter what your day holds set the intention to love yourself, to enjoy others, and to refrain from comparing your day/relationship to someone else’s. You are so much better than that. 



Amanda Frances