Why Your Last Relationship Didn’t Work Out

Hello Lovers!

I am so so pumped to bring to you a guest blog #wisdomdrop from my friend and #spiritjunkie sister, Nikki Novo! Nikki is a talented author and once of the sweetest souls I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Her new book, Will I be Alone Forever?: …And Other Dating Questions You Wish a Psychic Would Answer has recently launched on amazon and is totally ready to help you change your dating game, for good.

In what ways have your romantic relationships been a disguise for a big, fat lessons or assignment?

How have the relationships that didn’t work out for you actually served you?

Let me know in the comments.

Love you to peices!

Xo,

Amanda

I had just moved back to Miami from Los Angeles. I wasn’t one to attend church on

the regular, but since my life was a bit all over the place at the time, I agreed to go

to mass with my mother. After all, who knows what kind of demons had

attached themselves to me while living in LA!

I found myself at church, down on my knees, begging and pleading for a

boyfriend. Everything about my life was unstable at the time, so a boyfriend

sounded like someone who could offer me a steady foundation.

And guess what? It didn’t take too long for my prayers to be answered. I was

quite impressed by this God person. “Thank you, God,” I thought. “I’ll be sure to

do business with you again soon.”

Sweet. This universal source I spoke to at night actually came through. It sent me

a boyfriend! He was even wrapped in the perfect bow: creative, educated, sexy,

from a good family, had a job… Check, check, check!

We instantly fell in love, like two magnets that finally found their other halves.

Our relationship was a Nicholas Sparks novel in the making. In fact, it was

exactly how I envisioned it: romantic, passionate, and poetic, with sprinkles of

dedicated song lyrics.

A year into our relationship, I had already monogrammed the towels, designed

our first apartment together, and purchased the dog we would love as our child —

ALL IN MY MIND. Our minds are quite imaginative.

And then a few months after that, the relationship came to an end. Just like that,

from one day to the next, my plans were no longer an option. I, like many people

who desperately try to make a relationship into what they want it to be rather

than see it for what it is, found myself completely caught off guard. The

relationship, which I thought was a gift from God, had just crumbled.

And as the relationship crumbled, I crumbled too.

After a large deal of resistance, I finally started to embrace the healing process.

When we imagine our lives with someone for the long haul, and then that

relationships ends, our minds are left with disconnected wires looking for their

match. Meaning, our minds are feeling quite a bit of trauma. This is the time to

be easy on ourselves and look for the lesson in all that is happening.

So I did. I looked for the lesson. And what I learned is something I want to share

with you in hopes that you can make sense of those beautiful relationships that

for some reason did not work out.

Not all relationships are meant for the long haul. Some are just stepping-stones.

And, unfortunately, we do not have a say in the size. Know that all those stones

do help us to make our foundation, so we must be thankful for each — no matter

how small, weak, or imperfect they may seem.

In relationship we agree to take part in, we learn something about our world and

ourselves. My ex-boyfriend gave me the courage to express myself creatively. He

taught me how to live a life of expression and he encouraged me to do so every

moment we were together. You guys, he started my blog for me! I mean, come on,

could this relationship have given me a greater gift?

And that was the purpose of our relationship. I’m not quite sure what I did for

him, but I’m sure there was something. But what is important for me is that I’m

able to be thankful for the relationship and forgive him and me for any wrong

doing. That’s what counts. That’s what allows me to take what I learn and

transform it into a worthy energy, like the energy it takes to create this blog post,

which ultimately will help you, who will then help the world. You see how that

works?

Take your pain and your past and transform it. Give it purpose by giving thanks

and offering forgiveness. Once you have the courage to close that chapter in

gratitude, you’ll open the door to a relationship that will blow you out of the

water. Hell, yeah! It’s waiting. But you have to answer the door.

Nikki Novo is a Cuban-American self-help author and motivational speaker based out of Miami, FL. At a young age, she understood very clearly that we are all here for a purpose. With this knowing, she spends each day assisting those who cross her path to find their own life purpose and the love that lives within. A certified hypnotherapist with the International Association of Counselors and Therapists and a certified ThetaHealer®, Nikki is the author of “Will I be Alone Forever? …And Other Dating Questions You Wish a Psychic Would Answer,” and the creator of the workshop The Art of You & Me: A Girl’s Guide to Enjoying the Dating Process. She has taught at The Standard Spa, Miami Beach and Soho Beach House. She has also been commissioned to speak by organizations like Levo League, Florida International University, Macy’s, Saks Fifth Avenue, Baptist Health, Femfessionals, and The Collection.

Previous to becoming a self-love preacher, Nikki was the Miami editor for Refinery29, a contributing editor for DailyCandy Miami, and the associate editor at Miami magazine. Her work has been seen in Allure magazine, the Huffington Post, MSN.com, Zagat.com, and others. She also spent time in the publicity department of Lionsgate and Fox Searchlight in Los Angeles. As an expert in purposeful living and loving relationships, Nikki has been featured in MSN.com, Babble.com, Arizona Latinos, Miami New Times, and Aventura Magazine. She also held relationship columns with eHarmony.com, Huffington Post, Miami New Times, and Disney.com.

Nikki is a work-at-home entrepreneur and mom. She is a tribe member of her family consisting of her husband, tween-in-training daughter, toddler boy, and three-pound Yorkie — who is also her desk mate.